What is your WORD worth?

The words you say matter a great deal. Saying negative and unkind things will make a pretty girl or a handsome guy look unattractive

 

Image Source: Kristina Flour@ Unsplash

I remember greeting a friend, "How do you do", and he replied, "Do What?" 

The words you say matter a great deal. People never have a good impression of those who are always complaining or saying negative things (even if some of what you say is true). Have you noticed that popular guys and girls have a positive attitude and usually have good things to say- whether it is about their friend, the colleague, neighbour, or the party they attended last week? Being critical and judgemental makes a person unattractive.

WORDS that build rapport with another person include those that show concern, respect, and courtesy towards them, for example; 

- Appropriate greetings (Good morning! How are you? Nice weekend! Have a lovely day!)

- Words that show concern (How have you been? Do take care of yourself.)

- Words that show respect (addressing people by their titles; Dr (Doctor), Datuk, Sir, Yang Berbahagia (YB), Ar (Architect), Ir (Engineer), Professor, and more)

- Words that show appreciation (Thank you for your lovely gift!)

- Words that boost self-esteem (Sincere compliment)

- Diplomatic words (Stressing positive points)

People like those who are friendly, confident, and caring. Most men want to find a companion or long-term relationship with girls who are intelligent, loving, and supportive. A guy will date a girl perhaps because he likes the way she looks and her confidence, but whether he will invite her for a second date depends on her personality.

Employers want to hire people who are competent and those with the right mindset or positive attitude. However, having a pleasing appearance helps. Because of all this, we should take a keen interest and pay due attention to how we look. We don't have to be obsessive about our appearance (that can be put off too- someone who's always admiring themselves in the mirror) but we do need to spend time and effort on our physical appearance. 

A Promise is a Promise

All of us, at one time or the other, have promised something we later wished we hadn't. For me, it's usually a matter of committing to speaking engagements at a charity event, as 'Image Matters' talk is considered by many event organizers as one of the interesting highlights for dinner or lunch talk. At times, I promised and overbooked myself to be a judge for some pageantry events. It came a season when there were many dinner talk invites and I wrestled with my earlier decisions. In the earlier days, I tend to make too many commitments, and I end up wishing I could think of a convenient way out of speaking.

I have made it a policy to do whatever I say, so when it happens, I go - no matter what. Knowing that a commitment is a promise, however, I make it a practice not to commit to anything without considering all the other factors that can arise, in order to avoid myself from overcommitting. As a speaker, we are bound by the words we say, we need to be diligent in what we promise.

The five (5) simple rules that can help us to avoid making commitments that we may be  unable to keep:

1. When in doubt, say NO

When your staff comes to you for a decision on a critical subject when you are working on a project such as writing on a proposal to bid for a tender. If you are the type that tends to concentrate so completely on the subject or project at hand then you may respond to a question and later not even remember the conversation! 

If you have this tendency, in order to keep out of trouble, 

• Firstly, let your personal assistant controls access to your time while you are focusing on the special subject or project you are working on.

• Secondly, schedule regular times to deal with other subjects when you are at breaks in between your special project and can relax

• Thirdly, if someone asks you for an answer at any time other than these scheduled periods, you always answer NO.

If staff members don't want a NO answer, they learn to wait until you are available to concentrate on their issues. 

2. Keep a "Year at a Glance" schedule calendar.

Personal friends sometimes call you at home to ask for special advice or favour such as to attend a meeting to brainstorm on an issue at hand. Suggest using an 'a year at a glance calendar' so that you can see all your previous and later commitments at once. Why? You will be able to view when is your heavy week as, even though you may be free on the week your friend requested for your presence, you may need that week to recharge yourself. This is to ensure you preserve some downtime to keep from running down yourself.

3. Prioritize the Day

You find you make the worse decision when you overwork yourself because of bad scheduling. As most people do, you may find yourself running into unscheduled interruptions over which you have little or no control. As a good person, you don't want to eliminate friends or staff members calling or coming to you for urgent needs, but you also do not want these interruptions to run your life.  So work on a 'Time Management system' that helps you prioritize your day. You will find yourself having extra hours here and there to handle your paperwork, playtime, or do whatever you want. 

4. Don't book too far ahead

Who knows what may occur in a year or two? If you schedule your time too far into the future, you may limit the opportunity to change your direction. It is personal wisdom to decide where to draw the line. Two years is considered wise timing. Things change swiftly so you have the freedom to say NO to anyone. 

5. Use a Written Agreement

The probability of a misunderstanding in a written agreement has been calculated at 20 percent, more or less. The probability of a misunderstanding in a verbal agreement is nearly 100 percent!

I always advise, "Write it down." Many friends or well-acquainted business associates would be offended that you want a written agreement. To gain trust in business and relationships, "Keep our words."  

When you are lost for words to use, read between the line, we call it nonverbal communication and it is mostly accurate. 

It would be interesting to have your thoughts. You might have faced situations with the above dilemma or others that you might wish to share. 

We help our clients project a winning image in all aspects, from developing and projecting the desired image to including using the right words in conversation to social etiquette and self-presentation. 

Leave a comment below and share with us your broad experiences where you feel your CHOICE of WORDS is affecting your life, relationship, and career if any.   

Image credit: Unsplash