10 Secrets to be likeable

Being popular isn't just part of egoistic; it's an absolute must if you want to get invited to the A-lister events, parties in town, and being invited to do business with. Knowing all the right dance moves or being well-dressed can help make you popular, but the key to being on the A-lister's special invite list is to inspire others with a wish to see you and do business with you. 

If you want to win friends, make it a point to remember them. If you remember me, you pay me a subtle compliment; you indicate that I have made an impression on you. Remember my name and you add to my feeling of importance.

- By Author Dale Carnegie in his book "How to win friends and influence people."

With these 10 easy guidelines, being a VIP A-lister on a Special Invite to an inner circle event or business group is a breeze!

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What makes you likeable? 

So, What makes you the most engaging and interesting person in the room that everybody notices?

Rule 1: LOOK GOOD

Forget- for a while, at least- being loved for your MIND. The best thing we notice about other people is the way they look.

"Research has shown that we automatically assign to good-looking individuals such favourable traits as talent, kindness, honesty, and intelligence. Furthermore, we make judgments without being aware that physical attractiveness plays a role in the process." (Source: Robert Cialdini wrote in his book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion).

Make your first impression an excellent one by choosing your clothes and makeup. a hairstyle or personal grooming carefully for the occasion. 

Rule 2: SMILE with a Good Eye Contact

Studies show that SMILING is a sure-fire way to make a positive impression. "When you look directly into someone's eyes, you can almost anyone fall in love with you. Studies also show that people perceive those who smile as friendly and more attractive than people with neutral expressions. Good eye contact and a warm smile are a good start to making new friends. 

Rule 3: Establish a CONNECTION

Being awkwardly silent can easily kill a party. To make a conversation flow smoothly, you must ensure you make the other party comfortable. Discover a topic on common ground as people love to talk about the things at which they are good. keep it personal and light. Talking about favourite films, books, food, and places is great but beware of work, gossip, and avoid politics, religion, past relationships, or too serious topics. These can quickly turn the conversation into awfully dull or unpleasant feelings. 

Rule 4: Use your BODY LANGUAGE

Many times, you may not even have to say a word. "I like you" because your body speaks for you. Observers of body language point out that people who like each other align their torsos, and copy each other's gestures. Let others know you find them interesting by facing the person you are speaking to, leaning slightly forward, and mimicking their hand moveents. It's subtle but powerful.

Rule 5: MIRRORING 

People who think alike, speak alike. Senior corporate executives, PR people, artists, and social groups all have their own set of popular o familiar expressions. Using the right choices of words, and phrases at the right time will signal you are part of the group. If you don't know the inner circle or in-group style, listen carefully and echo the most popular phrases you hear. Careful! If you mirror people too obviously they'll think you are mocking them. Keep it subtle and the message, " We're on the same wavelength" will slide into their subconscious.

 

Rule 6: Learn to COMPLIMENT

It is a truth universally acknowledged that everyone is hungry for praise, the ego food that never fails to satisfy. Praising a recent achievement or even a new flattering haircut or nice tie or lipstick can make for a pleasant remark. Compliment new friends by asking for and listening to their opinions. Nothing flatters a person more than showing that their judgement is valued. But beware of empty or fake compliments. Simply telling people they are clever, kind, or good isn't enough. Unless your praise is honest and sincere, you'll be branded a phony, which is easily revealed through your body language. 

Rule 7: Don't joke at the EXPENSE of OTHERS

If you are good at telling jokes or funny stories, use it with discretion. When you make fun of someone, they may smile in a careless manner in order to show their good nature, but they won't be laughing along with you. Their friends won't be looking forward to seeing you around them for long. Make fun of yourself instead. 

Rule 8: Be POSITIVE

Everyone has some experience with rude or incompetent people. Be careful when you share such experiences. If you focus solely on the negative you may be perceived as being negative yourself. It's not necessary to be obsessed or constantly repeating it. Just be careful to steer the conversation that's becoming too negative into a more positive exchange. 

Rule 9: Don't GOSSIP

It's nice to be the center of attention when you reveal exactly what happened to whom in that nasty scandal everyone is interested in. But before you spill the beans. consider this: We all love to hear the dirty details but would you trust someone who tells tales?

Washing other people's dirty linen in public for sheer attention value will get you a name for indiscretion. Being branded untrustworthy will also get your name excluded from the A-Listers' party or business groups.  Be all-out on passing good news, as the latest inside information on promotions, winning deals, and achievements. Your name will surely be mentioned at the A-Listers' party event or be recommended for a business deal. 

Rule 10: REMEMBER PEOPLE

"If you want to win friends, make it a point to remember them. If you remember my name, you pay me a subtle compliment; you indicate that I have made an impression on you. Remember my name and you add to my feeling of importance." (Source: Book 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by author Dale Carnegie).

For a killer strategy, greet someone by name and compliment them by remembering the subjects you discussed last time. "Hey Bobby, how is your daughter getting along in her medical university course?"  "Tell me Sui Liang, how is that lovely puppy of yours growing up?" is much more personal than simply remembering a name. It is the start of a real friendship or relationship. 

Internalizing these 10 guidelines is guaranteed to help boost your likeability in the short term. But if you want to stay at the party of  "A-list", you need to remember the bottom line golden rule: The key to being likeable is to make everyone you meet feel important. But it can't be faked; you have to be sincere and authentic.

Are you seeking Refinement to elevate?

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In the midst of endemic, where you are considering a "Corporate Make-Over" to tune up from your business operations to sagging employee satisfaction and retention, talk to us to re-focus on a new mindset to tune the trend around. 

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Disclaimer:

This blog post contains the idea and opinions of the author. The information provided in this post is written solely to provide motivation and for educational purposes to our readers.