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How to get to know someone


Every good conversation starts with good listening


I believe crucial conversations shape and change the world. Meaningful and deep conversations can transform and change lives. Board meetings can be filled with conversations that change the world. It's the most basic way in which people relate and communicate with each other. Governance is only as good as its governors. You do govern by having conversations with each other. But how are you in the conversations? Is your voice generating a vibe that is creating value for your organization?

How are you in the conversations? Is your voice generating a vibe that is creating VALUE for your organization?

Getting to know someone can be an intimidating process. So how do we go about doing it right? Your body language, responses, your choice of words, tone, and questions in the initial stage of a conversation will form an impression that could be either positive or negative lasting impression. Your skills in getting to know people successfully will directly impact the outcome of your job interviews, business deals, dating relationships, and important client or principal meetings. We can all improve our conversation skills to achieve our personal and business goals.

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Your skills in getting to know the other person successfully will directly impact the outcome of your dating relationship.


The Conversation is a DANCE of two


The Conversation is about talking but talking doesn't make a conversation. The Conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. You share the talking time; you also listen and acknowledge. The ability to converse well and to hold a conversation skillfully will be your magic ingredient for your well-being, success in relationships and business, as well as happiness, in many areas of your life. In a relationship, how you engage in a conversation makes a profound difference to the quality of your connection with another person. It is the basis of building new relationships and making new friends.

Small Talk vs Conversation


Image Credit: Unsplash by You-X-Ventures
The conversation is the basis of human contact, the ability to converse well with people and to hold a conversation skillfully will be your magic ingredient for your 'Well-being, Success and Happiness' in many areas of your life.

The best conversations are like a river- they flow along, even if there are few bumps and turns along the way. It takes some practice and finesse to drive a balanced conversation. Small talk, while necessary in many situations, may not actually help you to get to know someone. It serves as a good starter for a conversation, and to hold a conversation to different levels. Once you master the art of small talk, you find yourself able to deal with common difficulties. It is a valuable skill to master for disagreeing with people without losing connection, and for comforting others when necessary. You might find yourself having to handle a difficult conversation in a conflict situation.

Business Conversation vs Conversations that changed the world

In business situations, you might find yourself having to have conversations with the media that can change the public image of you and your company. There are many great conversations that changed history and changed the world, and there are conversations that can change your world. At the end of each board meeting, ask this question, "What was most valuable about this meeting for the organization?" and "What could we have done differently to improve that?" Go around the table and give everyone an opportunity to speak, but don't force them to. Make the process voluntary, not mandatory.

Asking questions like "who, where, how, what" can open and carry on an interesting conversation that will leave you far better acquainted with a new friend or business contact, rather than just small talk all the time.


Questions drive Conversations


Asking questions shows your .conversation partner that you are interested in them as a person. The right tone and choice of words help draw out the person and the introduction is engaging and meaningful, rather than superficial without forcing participation from either party. Humans have a unique and beautiful way of communicating with one another. That is why Albert Mehrabian, a psychologist developed a communication model in which he demonstrated that only 7 percent of what we communicate consists of the literal content of the message. The use of one's voice (tone, intonation, and volume) take up 38 percent, and as much as 55 percent of communication consists of body language. Asking questions like "who, where, how, what" can open and carry an interesting conversation, that will leave you far better acquainted with a new friend of business contact, rather than just small talk all the time. 

How you dress is a message before you speak

Our best-selling book, The Image Factor' wrote on the phenomenon, 'The psychology of dress.' What you wear can inform the other party, (though the first impression) of your status in employment, your ambitions, emotions, and spending habits. In what you wear, your clothes reveal about you before you say a word or start a conversation. According to psychologists, clothes are so revealing (of our personalities), and the messages they're sending and how you can use your wardrobe to change or influence how others PERCEIVE you- and even how you think about yourself.

Image Credit: Unsplash by Hartini Lestari 
You are what you wear. How you dress sends a message. What do your clothes say about you?



There is no one piece or style that makes a person look successful. In principle, the basics, when trying to project a positive image: the little black dress (for ladies), the blazer, and a good pair of shoes (both men and women). As well there is no one item that makes a person look unsuccessful. Any clothes that prohibit you from doing a job well send the wrong message.



The Art of Conversation is not just about you, it's getting to know the other person.



Are you seeking Refinement to elevate?

If you are someone who is seeking a life of fulfillment, reaching your optimal potential, loving what you do, love to dress well, believe in Style over Trends, aspired trailblazer to 'look good, feel good (physically and mentally), ready to a journey of life-long continuous learning for self-growth, and appreciate being elevated to a 'Life Well Lived', focusing on what is necessary over essentials, this is the place for you. Or if you feel the need to rediscover your Colour and Style Personality, or Personal Positioning, do reach out to Refinement Society to discuss your personal and life goal. 

In the midst of endemic, where you are considering a "Corporate Make-Over" to tune up from your business operations to sagging employee satisfaction and/or customer retention, talk to us to re-focus on a new mindset to tune the trend around.

Leave a comment below and share with us your broad experiences where you feel that your CONFIDENCE, ESTEEM, STYLE, and INCIVILITY around us are affecting your life and success. Get connected with us directly and let us chat a bit.

Stay Positive and Discover the diamond in you.

Disclaimer:

This blog post contains the idea and opinions of the author. The information provided in this post is written solely to provide motivation and for educational purposes to our readers.





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