What is your STYLE to Resolve Conflicts?

How you handle conflict depends less on YOUR STYLE than on what each situation demands

Anytime you bring two or more people together to solve a problem or make a decision - that is, to negotiate - you may well end up with conflict. Conflict is inevitable. Even with the most level-headed or good characteristics, people will engage in conflict. Is conflict bad? Not necessarily. But unmanaged conflict can be harmful to us as individuals and to our organisation. Handled right, however, it can be a good thing. The Chinese symbol for crisis is made up of two characters: danger and opportunity. A poorly handled conflict can be dangerous, relationships may suffer and productivity may decline. If left unmanaged, it can lead to health problems, divert energy, time, and resources from legitimate and important personal and organisational goals, and result in corporate sabotage and financial and emotional problems. But a skillfully handled conflict can be beneficial. It can function as a safety valve, letting people vent frustrations, and it can lead to solutions for troublesome problems.

Nothing can be changed until it is faced

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In our daily interactions, we often misinterpret the behaviour of others. The assumptions we make are a major contributing factor in the breakdown of communication and escalation of conflict.  When people are under stress associated with conflict, the tendency to misinterpret each other is greatly increased. We often assumed the other's intention from the effect that their action has on us. If I am hurt by the actions of another person I will tend to assume she or he intended to hurt me,  We also tend to assume that the other person will correctly interpret the intent of our actions despite how we deliver them.  If our intent is to help, we may assume the other person feels helped and should appreciate us.

We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are

Rarely will avoiding conflict lead to its resolution; most conflicts won't just go away. But effective conflict management can lead to increased cohesion and loyalty. There are five STYLES for resolving conflicts. Here's how you can use each one effectively in your negotiations.

1. Withdrawal of Avoidance: 

This strategy calls for ignoring conflict in the hope that it will go away. People who practise this style will maintain neutrality at all costs and view conflict as a worthless and punishing exercise. They will remove themselves physically and mentally from the situation. Although you might think this is not effective, it is the best strategy to use when the issues are trivial; the parties in a conflict lack "win-win" negotiating skills; the potential losses in the conflict outweigh the potential gains; there is not enough time to work through the issues of the conflict. What is the drawback to using withdrawal/avoidance? It only delays the confrontation.

2. Smoothing accommodation

Those who adopt this strategy have a greater concern for people than for whether a task is completed, and they try to smooth over or ignore conflict to keep everybody happy. They see open conflict as destructive and will give in to the will of others if necessary to maintain the peace. Smoothing or accommodation may be the best strategy to use when the issues are minor; damage to the relationship will hurt all parties involved in a conflict; there is a need to temporarily reduce the level of conflict in order to get more information; when tempers are flying. The drawback to using smoothing or accommodation is that it offers a temporary solution only - sort of like putting a Band-Aid on a minor wound.

3. Compromise

Compromisers believe that everybody should have an equal chance to express opinions, often try to find a solution everybody can live with, like to use voting as a way of avoiding direct conflict, and believe that a high-quality solution is not as important as a solution everybody can live with. When should you compromise? When both parties will gain something in the compromise; an ideal solution isn't needed; you need a temporary solution for a complex problem; both sides have equal power. Why isn't compromise the best method to use? Everybody loses something, and you probably won't reach the best solution through compromise.

4. Forcing/Competition

People who prefer force or competition see reaching their own goals as more important than people and see nothing wrong with using force to get what they want. They see conflict as a win-lose situation in which their opponents must lose for them to win. They submit to arbitration only when the arbitrator's power is greater than theirs. When should you use a forcing or competitive STYLE? When you need immediate action or decision; all parties in a conflict appreciate the use of power and force; all parties in a conflict accept the power relationship between them. One of the drawbacks of using this style is that the real cause of the conflict remains unresolved, and any solution achieved will only be temporary. You also have to consider the unmanaged emotions of the loser, who will probably seek revenge when he or she sees the opportunity.

5. Problem-solving/collaboration

People who follow a problem-solving or collaborative strategy give equal consideration to people and to results and view conflict as beneficial if handled in an open manner. Open and honest communication is a key characteristic. They attempt to achieve a group consensus in solving the problem and are willing to spend a lot of time doing so. When should you use problem-solving or collaboration? These strategies are effective when everybody in the conflict is trained in problem-solving methods; the parties have common goals; the conflict results from a simple misunderstanding or lack of communication. What are the drawbacks of using problem-solving or collaboration? It will not work with people who have different values or goals. If somebody is determined to use power, for instance, all you can do is try to use a problem-solving orientation familiar with the group. But you may be forced to use another style. Another drawback is that it is a time-consuming practice. If the group or situation calls for a fast decision, you may have to use a forcing STYLE.

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Disclaimer: This blog post contains the idea and opinions of the author. The information provided in this post is written solely to provide motivation and for educational purposes to our readers.